We’ve all experienced people who have hurt us, deceived us, used us, or maligned us over the years, and there are many people we need to forgive. Research demonstrates that forgiveness is good for your health.
Forgiveness has been shown to reduce the risk of heart attack, slow the spread of cancer and impede the development of diseases such as HIV. By refusing to forgive someone, we are really only hurting ourselves.
Regardless of how painful the injury to you was, or whether the person said they were sorry, the time has come for you to take control of your life and forgive them.
Here are some ways that you can lay your grievances to rest and get on with a healthy, happy life:
Write a note, or type an email spelling out how the situation made you feel and let loose on them. Caution: don’t send it! The chance to tell them what you really think, but would never dare to say to any living creature, will give you reprieve. And knowing you’re never going to send it will empower you to say what you really think. Sending it will only create further drama and will only cause more hurt. When you’re done, burn it or trash it.
Learn Your Lessons
Learning why you got scorched at someone else’s hands will allow you to learn from the experience and grow as a result. You can then be thankful for the learning experience.
We are all victims of victims. To help us let go of vindictive feelings and animosity, we can chose to be more compassionate in our view of the person that has hurt us. What have they been through in their life that makes them the way they are? What do their patterns of behavior mean for their future? Life looks pretty good from where you are sitting now, doesn’t it?
Feel Your Power
You are only a victim as long as you chose to be. Acknowledge that something bad happened to you and chose how to respond to it. Check your thoughts – and embrace forgiving thoughts. It’s the most empowering thing you can do.
He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. ~George Herbert
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.- Anais Nin