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How To Find That Perfect Relationship

So maybe you’re out there – looking for a relationship.

How does the relationship you have with yourself affect your relationship with others?

Are you willing to pop open the hood and look at the real engine that drives your behaviors, feelings and actions?

WARNING! This could get deep! You are a spiritual being with moments of physicality –right?

Will you allow these words to skim over your mind – or are you serious enough to go deeper – until you know them to be true in yourself?

Is your longing or desire so intense that you’ll stop at nothing to find that perfect mate?

Many of us have been sold into believing that there is something called perfection. When this model isn’t met, we get disappointed.

The only thing that is perfect is the quality of our Godliness. It is only by subtraction that we get to experience this perfection. This requires removal of all concepts.

When you can become an unidentified observer of awareness – the world will fall at your feet.

To Love and Be Loved

The blessing of loving and being loved isn’t something you visualize into manifestation. It arrives by grace. In my experience, grace requires patience and purification. Grace can also manifest in times of quickening growth.

If you require a certain type of growth it will manifest for you. If you resist – it will not manifest as easily.

Some of us fall into pain rather than fall in love. We think we fall in love, but really it is an intermingling of our pain bodies that we call love. This serves to comfort us and makes us feel protected. But that’s okay – this is exactly the growth we need to break free from our self-imposed ego prisons.

Grace also comes when you forget the limited self. This requires utter and complete surrender of your ego.

Another way is through selfless giving. Intense giving with intention toward contribution helps you forget your longing and desire.

That’s when love comes knocking….

Paradoxically, the bright neediness of our desire actually serves as a shield or barrier or impediment to love.

To complicate things further, our illusory sense of self-hood, or ego, also acts as a great big box – that surrounds us and prevents others from seeing us for who we really are.

Identifying mindsets that prevent you from seeing truth is the biggest cause for resistance to life – that’s all ego is – resistance to life.

Most of us think we’re clear – be we continue to hold on to pain bodies and unconscious tendencies. Mindsets need to be uncovered and identified before new positive mindsets can be installed.

I wrote the following article 5 years ago. I just re-read it and it still rings true for me.

Love Is All There Is

Love is the continual, inexorable, evolutionary progression toward reunion with the Godhead. With God’s out-breath came the Big Bang.

Along with the creation of countless divine sparks of individualized units of pure consciousness, the outflowing of Her Love began.

This Divine Will and expansion still roars through the universe in the form of Divine Light and Sound.

It will end when all souls become refined and return to their Creator. This in-breath, is God’s love and grace for His Creation.

Love, is simply the pull towards a reunification with our Creator.

The highest form of love is the love of God. It is the glue that draws us to the Divinity we see in others. It is a recognition that is simply a reflection of the Divinity we see and feel within ourselves.

Since God created man and woman for Her pleasure, She also wants us to be happy. In our evolutionary progression toward growth, we learn to leave behind what is nonessential.

As we learn to sublimate our egos and become more surrendered and comfortable with our new-found Self-realization, we begin to see life in a more loving way.

In releasing the ego and its hold on ours minds, we find a new invincibility. We begin to see that love is all there is.

Seeing reality in this new way, without the burdens of conditioned responses, addictions, fears, neuroses, anxieties and judgments, our hearts begin to open and we begin to feel and come to recognize the love for all in all. In this understanding, we find a quiet patience, simplicity and surrender.

In this process of subtraction, surrender, compassion and refinement, we begin to understand the flow of life. Through conscious mindfulness meditation, a loosening of the ego’s hold on our minds, eliminating compulsive negative thinking, and finally learning to cherish others, we begin to sense a true security and invincibility.

This security, or ground of being, is the silent anchor we feel when we are in union with our Higher Selves. Our desire to feel safe and complete in a relationship is just this simple ‘ground of being’ that we seek to find with others.

When we, as individualized souls become localized on the earthly plane, we struggle and take on the cycle of rebirth in order to learn and become more refined.

We come back as male and female in order to completely experience and understand both polarities of God’s manifest nature. After which, these polarities are sublimated and transmuted into the One.

The eternal dance between souls is a co-mingling of emotion, desire, dysfunction and drama. True union is achieved when each partner begins to think a little more of the other, rather than of oneself.

This can be achieved through awareness, mindfulness meditation and mindfulness.

The universe is made up of energy. I believe this energy is love. This outpouring of love awaits us each day when we wake up, and it is there when we go to sleep.

If we can muster the courage to relinquish the ego’s control over the mind, overcome our conditioned responses, loosen compulsive thinking, burnout past karmas and impressions, we finally learn to be intensely present, and clearly see truth in our lives.

We then begin to love all of creation and realize that love is all there is.

Magical thinking is no salve for a longing heart. We must do work.

My teacher, Paramahansa Yoganandaji would say, “Read a little, meditate more, and think of God all the time.”

I am certain you’ve heard that truism: “You become your attention.” When you can give your full attention to the awareness of your Godliness, nothing else remains to be done. You become your attention.

You finally get to see that you are love and that nothing remains to be completed. You are complete or PERFECT in itself.

For true love to manifest we must break down all the barriers and the biggest of all barriers is the ego.

Then comes desire, and then mindset, and then identification with the mind, and then courage to surrender and the willingness to just be.

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