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Confessions of a Control Freak: How I Overcame My Perfectionism

I want to share a personal story with you today, one that I hope will resonate with those of you who, like me, used to struggle with perfectionism and the constant need for control.

For over 20 years, I owned frozen yogurt franchises. In the beginning, I did everything myself because I believed that I was the only one who could do it right. I felt compelled to do it all – from marketing and training to hiring, firing, and even remodeling the stores myself. I believed that unless I had complete control, everything would fall apart. I guess I thought perfection was the only way to success.

The same pattern extended to my role as a band leader. I had a vision of how I wanted the band to sound, and I became a bit of a tyrant in my pursuit of perfection. I couldn’t tolerate any mistakes, and I micromanaged every aspect of our performances.

It took me a while to realize that this constant need for control was not only affecting my own well-being but also straining my relationships with others. I was missing out on the joy of collaboration and the beauty of imperfection.

However, my journey towards letting go of control and perfectionism truly began when I discovered the power of meditation. Through my daily practice, I started to see life with a new set of glasses. Here are three valuable lessons I learned along the way that I’d like to share with you:

1. Embrace Imperfection as a Sign of Growth:

One day, during a meditation session, it struck me that life is inherently messy. No matter how hard we try, perfection is an elusive goal. Instead of seeing imperfections as failures, I started viewing them as opportunities for growth. I realized that making mistakes and learning from them is a vital part of our journey. This mindset shift allowed me to be more compassionate with myself and extend that compassion to others.

2. Delegate and Trust Others:

In my business, I had to learn the art of delegation. I realized that I didn’t have to do everything myself. I started trusting my team and giving them the responsibility they deserved. By relinquishing control, I not only reduced my workload but also allowed others to shine and bring fresh perspectives to the table. It was a liberating experience.

3. Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome:

As a band leader, I shifted my focus from achieving a perfect performance to enjoying the process of creating music together. I learned to relax and appreciate the beauty of the journey rather than fixating on a flawless outcome. This change not only made the band play better but also brought fun back into our rehearsals and performances.

In conclusion, my meditation practice led to a profound mindset shift. I realized that perfectionism and control were only holding me back from experiencing the richness of life. By embracing imperfection, trusting others, and focusing on the process, I found greater peace, happiness, and success in both my business and my role as a band leader.

I encourage you to take a step back, breathe, and allow yourself to see the world with new glasses.

Remember, it’s okay not to be in control all the time. Embrace the beauty of imperfection, and you’ll discover a world filled with more joy and less stress.