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How Facing Your Fears Became My Superpower: Breaking Free from the Shackles of Unconscious Emotions

Let me share a story about a journey into the heart of emotions—a wild ride of feeling your feelings—and how I found freedom amidst turbulence.

Picture a world where problems cease to exist. Well, buckle up because today, we’re diving deep into the realm of mindfulness, self-discovery, and facing your fears.

Feelings are like the soundtrack of our lives, playing in the background, shaping our experiences. Sometimes, we let them take the wheel without realizing it. But what if we could change the tune, rewrite the script, and let the feelings flow without resistance?

I’ve been on this road, and let me tell you, it’s a journey worth taking. Picture this: awareness and meta-cognition, the ability to think about our thinking, as a superpower. Why? Because it frees the subconscious from the shackles of repressed feelings. It’s like radical acceptance, allowing everything to be just as it is, especially those feelings you’ve been unconsciously ignoring.

Now, mindfulness—that’s the key. Bring your attention to the present moment without judgment. It’s about ditching the habit of imagining what things might be and embracing them for what they are. As I like to say, “Accepting life the way it is not what you think it should be.”

Facing Fear of Flying

Let me share a personal tale from the days when I was afraid of flying. Anxiety would grip me at the airport, and every bump in the air became a looming disaster. It got so bad that I swore off flying. But, in a moment of courage, I decided to confront that fear head-on. Exposure therapy, they call it. I booked flights, faced the turbulence, and slowly, the fear dissipated. I changed my mindset, reframed my thoughts, and embraced the joy of flying.

Now, let’s talk about the roots of our feelings—those early strategies we developed as children seeking safety. Maybe our emotional needs weren’t met, leading to fears and coping mechanisms that stick with us into adulthood. Imagine being afraid to feel your feelings when you were younger. What did you do? Repressed them, developed strategies to avoid them, and carried those disowned feelings into your adult life.

I get it. I had my share of disowned feelings too. A mother who, despite her love, couldn’t attend to my emotional needs as much as I wished. So, I stashed away feelings of inadequacy and fear. But lately, I’ve been feeling more of my feelings, facing them with mindfulness. It’s like peeling back the layers of stories we tell ourselves—the narratives that entertain us, like a movie with all the drama, action, and adventure we crave.

Here’s a little trick I use: I maintain a journal folder labeled “My Favorite Problems.” I identify recurring fears, anxieties, and stories, then confront them. I expose myself to those feelings, pinpoint where they manifest in my body, and pose three simple questions:

  1. Will this feeling kill me?
  2. Will it harm me?
  3. Is it a real problem?

I repond with a resounding “So What!” and grant myself permission to feel these emotions indefinitely. It’s a lightning strike—a process of facing feelings, shedding unnecessary baggage, and realizing that our self-narratives are for personal entertainment. Gradually, the ego fades away from neglect, and an unparalleled sense of freedom and lightness emerges.

So, let me leave you with this tip for today – feel your feelings, face your fears, and watch the lightning of awakening strike. It’s time to drop the unnecessary drama and embrace the freedom that comes from truly accepting yourself, just as you are.

Rock on.